First, I want to apologize for the ridiculous length of this letter. Unfortunately, I’m the type of person who always has A LOT on her mind and is terrible at keeping her words short and sweet. I thank you for even bothering to take a glance at this letter of ungodly proportions and hope it somehow allows us to cross paths with each other eventually.
So I’m starting to lose hope that I’ll ever find someone who will love me as much as I love them. It’s always the same story… I put my heart on a gold plate for someone, offer it to them without an ounce of regret, and they push it away like it’s a cursed object. In the rare instance where the person actually takes my heart, they proceed to toss it onto the floor, step all over it, and hand it back to me completely battered, scarred, and broken.
While I may not like myself very much, I think even I deserve better than that. NOBODY deserves to have their heart toyed with by someone until they decide that the novelty has worn off and it can just be thrown away like a useless piece of junk. The saddest part is that so many people in the world today find it so easy to do exactly that, and find it even easier to move on with their lives while people like me can’t get them out of my head regardless of how deeply they hurt me. It’s just not fair…
All I really want is for somebody to let me give them my heart and for them to give me theirs in return. No mind games. No lies. Just a simple but meaningful relationship where we can both be complete dorks together and share thousands of cuddles, hugs, kisses, and laughs and be able to tell each other everything about ourselves – the good and the bad – and still be able to see the beauty in each others’ existences no matter how dark the truths we discover may be. Is that really so much to ask for?
Whoever and wherever you may be, I can only hope that you will be the happiness that I’m looking for. I have to warn you ahead of time though that if and when we actually meet, it’s going to be hard for you to get close to me at first because I’ve decided to put up these thick, towering, and impenetrable walls around me once again. The fact that I’m so socially awkward and insecure doesn’t do much to help either… I’m truly sorry that I have to put you through the extra effort, but I hope you can understand why I’m like this and not give up on me no matter how hopeless I may be at times.
Regardless of that, I promise you that once you take the time to show me that I can trust you and that you’re not here just to walk all over me, I will put my entire soul and being into making sure that you feel loved and appreciated every single day, and I will always be sure to remind you how amazing and beautiful you are. Simply because someone like you will never deserve anything short of that.
So whoever you are my love, please come into my life soon because I need you.
Love,
Me
I promise I’ll try to be the best girlfriend I can be. I’ll devote my time and my energy to making you smile & to seeing that grin dance across your cheeks. I’ll tickle you until you cry and then kiss away your tears. I’ll cuddle you all day and all night & spoil you with whatever you could ever want. We’ll smoke into the wee hours of the morning, kissing and touching behind closed doors, listening to records, and in the morning we’ll shower together and face the day. I’ll drive you anywhere, and show you new places and spaces to delight you. We’ll kiss under the stars, in the rain, in the snow, and everywhere else. I’ll cook you meals and make you your favorite treats, and when it’s really hot out, we’ll go for ice cream and eat it sitting in the back of my pickup truck laying in each other’s arms. I’ll love you no matter what, and I’ll be there for you & only you whenever and wherever you need me, for as long as you want me. I promise.
Just please give a chance. Someone.
Love,
Me
I’d love to say all of these things to you, but I’m just too shy and you know that too well. You say it’s cute, but I wouldn’t be so sure. Still, here it goes, in hopes that you’ll read it someday.
If you don’t feel like talking to me everyday, don’t. You can just say it. If you do, I’ll talk to you until you get bored, until you’re too tired to open your eyes and then you’ll sleep right next to me. If you’re sad and you feel like sharing your pain, I’m all ears, but if you don’t, I’ll understand. If you don’t love me every day, I’ll love you enough for the two of us. If you don’t love me now, it’s okay. I’ll be waiting on you, ‘cause I believe we could be great together. All I ask is that you don’t grow tired of me and leave me like everyone else has done ‘til now.
I want you to be as sincere as I’ll be with you. I want to make you happy as you make me by just talking to me every single day. I want to kiss you and wrap my arms around you. I want to hold hands with you and sleep together listening to the rain outside. I want you to let me love you, hold you, kiss you and be with you. I want to see you smile, but I’d also like to see your tears whenever you feel like crying - of joy, of anger, of sadness, of anything - because I would never ask you to be strong and suck it up when you felt like the world was crashing down on you. I know how bad it feels.
I want to talk about our possible future and be a fangirl and share whatever new music I find with you. I want us to cook, eat and wash the dishes together. I want to wake up and stare at your adorable sleeping face until you open your eyes and show me your beautiful smile. I want to cuddle, hug you, laugh along and watch crappy movies, but I also want to touch you, kiss every inch of your body very slowly, pleasure you and make you mine.
It literally pains me not to have you around when I miss you so much and have you on my mind from the moment I wake up to the moment I close my eyes and sleep again.
I love you, I love you, I love you so much and I’m still not ready to say all of these things to your face, but all I ask is that you feel the same. Please, please love me back with all your heart and you’ll hear all of these words and so much more from my lips. I know you can do it, despite all my problems and overall awkwardness. I’m right here, and I’m all yours.
Love,
Me
Are you my future girlfriend? I don’t know. Yesterday you admitted feelings for me. I’d never thought about it before. Then again, I’ve been forcing myself to cross off any possible relationship lately. I don’t know, though. Now that I know, I can’t stop thinking about it. I can’t help but think, why not?
I’m not one to say no to a possibility like this. But I also don’t know what I want or you want out of it. You say you’re “talking” to someone else. But if you’re going to tell me you have feelings for me, I’m going to say, “Let’s try it.” If that’s not okay, then don’t tell me this. I don’t want to know. I want things to go back to normal.
The last girl I was with screwed me over. I can’t help but be afraid of the same thing happening again. But, still, if you want this, I’m willing to try it. But be sure, because as you know I do everything and anything for people I care about.
Love (maybe),
Me
Sometimes i miss you. ._. i cant help but think about you! i see flowers and wonder if you’d like them, i’ll hear music and wonder if you’d dance with me! I just want you to be here. I promise ill check my phone 20 times in between texts just because i’ll be nervous i missed your text. I dont just want the physical stuff either (although i wouldnt mind making out in the back of my car while watching fireworks or going to the drive in ;) ) but i want us to be best friends i want you to know you can come to me with anything and i want to treat you like a princess. And this is where i differ from most other people that write notes, im not going through a hard time in my life and need you im quite secure. I have a job good grades decent social life, life’s pretty good, but im terrified that you’re going through something and im not there! what if you’re hurting and i cant be there to take some of the pain? I want you to feel loved, i know im a femme but i want to take care of you. I want you to be my princess. :/ Please baby stay strong for me i’ll keep my eyes open for you.
Love,
Me (thekiwiprincess.tumblr.com)
Well, it’s been a little while since I’ve written. Lots has been happening. It’s not that you haven’t been on my mind, you have been, it’s more just that I wasn’t sure what to say or how to say it. Anyway, here’s another letter, I sure hope you’re out there, reading these.
I really like cooking and usually like to do it with the music up loud. I generally buy ingredients for several dishes more than I end up making though… it means that we’ll end up eating random, excess items on their own, I hope you don’t mind too much. Mind you, when you get here, maybe you can help me cook, we’ll get more done that way. If I accidentally-on-purpose start a food fight in the middle of it, remember that it was an accident.
Music is important to me, I will be obsessed with my guitars or the piano for days or weeks at a time but then I might not play for a little while, I haven’t lost interest, it’s just how my music taste has changed, it won’t last long. Oh and my itunes is a bit of a mix, feel free to make a playlist of only the songs you like and we can play that when you’re around. When we’re in the car, I’ll probably let you choose the songs, but periodically I’ll yell out something, please play it, sometimes I just REALLY need to hear a song and I won’t always be able to explain why.
Please understand my passion for working with little kids and for education in general. I have strong opinions and I need to feel like you’re listening to me. I don’t need you to understand every tiny detail but just respecting that it’s important to me will be enough.
It’s not easy to turn me into a girly girl. If you’ve managed to make me blush or go shy or you’ve brought out goosebumps on my skin, you’re probably on a bit of a winner.
One more thing you should know, there’s a little girl in my life who isn’t mine (and really isn’t so little anymore) who means the absolute world to me. She’s the most amazing, incredible and beautiful girl in the world and a piece of my heart will always be hers. If I even consider introducing you to her, it means I’m serious about you.
I was going to say that I hope all of this is okay, but really, if you’re my Future Girlfriend, it will be.
Can you get here soon, please? It’s almost bedtime so I’m feeling cuddly as per usual… this is another night without you here and there’s been so many already.
Love,
Me
I’m a big pile of mixed emotions and I contradict myself constantly. No matter what, though, I will always want you. Regardless if we bicker or if you’re a million miles away, you will always be my top priority. You’re constantly on my mind everywhere I go, and I hope we meet soon. I want to be in love, I want to look into your eyes and know that, without a doubt, I will spend the rest of my life with you. I promise to love you from the moment the birds start to sing, to the moment the sun kisses the sea. I will love every flaw, every inch of your body. I hope you don’t mind I can get touchy. I will love every thought in your brain, and I will love every syllable that rolls off your lips. I will remind you every day how my heart rivals a race car at the sight of you. I promise to love you with every ounce of my soul.
Love,
you know whats really hot? pulling away mid kiss, and pulling back every time i go in for another. I like to be teased…. please tease me.
Love,
Me
I made this valentines day for my digital imaging class, it’s a valentines day card for you. I haven’t met you yet but when i do you will receive this. I hope you like it.
I might not be what you hoped to find, but I know you’ll be everything I want. If you let me in, I will help you every chance I get. I know what it’s like to go through hell, and I just know I’ll be able to help you through everything. I will kiss you every chance I have, and I will strive to make you the happiest girl in the world, even if I’m nothing special. I will always be here, and I will always love you. All I ask is that you love me, too.
Love,
Me.
It has been 33 days now since my last cut and I’ve been found out. My friends found my blog, which is basically like a record of my cuts and why, and they told a teacher at my school. That teacher then informed the Child Protection Officer there (which is not as serious as it sounds) who then told my parents.
I have help where I need it. Though, I’m finding that I don’t need it. I’m finding that I am okay and that I can survive without self-harm. I can get through the day without wanting to hurt myself. I’ve come so far and now… all I can think about is you.
All I can think about is how beautiful you’re going to be, how perfect you’re going to be. About how I can’t wait to meet you and love you and be with you. You’ve no idea how long I’ve been waiting for you.
I’ve come to terms with my bisexuality (and I hope you do not scoff at it because it does exist). It’s been a long ride but I’m comfortable enough to say it out loud now. Though, I can’t bring myself to come out officially but I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.
This letter has basically just been me rambling but I needed to tell you all of it. It’s been so long since I last wrote you. A lot has changed and it’s changed for the better. All I want now is you. You and your perfect self.
Love always,
Me
Please hurry? I can’t wait to love you.
Love,
Me.
Will you get here soon? There’s only so much lesbian porn out there.
Love,
Me.
Hey, I haven’t met you (yet)
and this is crazy
but I know I’ll like you
so lets fall in love, maybe?
Love,
Me
